I'm here
by xxthewayatchawritexx
Summary: For 2 years, Beatrice prior has been abused. She was taken away from her family at 15. She's 17 now. She lives in an apartment in New York with her "father", who she desperately wants to get away from. But maybe she won't have to do it alone. "I'm here for you. You know that right?" *fourtris
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Hey guys! So this is the new story I was talking about! I hope you enjoy it!**

**Leave me comments please! Tell me what you think of the story! Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

"Beatrice"

...

"Beatrice"

I awaken from my peaceful slumber.

My father stands, hovering over me

a suitcase in hand.

"Get up. We're leaving. Now"

He grabs my small wrist roughly with his calloused hands. I almost scream out in pain.

This has been happening quite a lot recently.

About a week ago, I was walking home from school. My head down, and my eyes full of worry and disappointment.

**FLASHBACK**

How will I tell him?

I look at the piece of paper in my hand. I want to crumple it up, shred it, throw it to the ground and for the finally, stomp on it with as much force as I can.

But I can't do that because that would be dramatic, and dumb, and also the neighbors would think I was on drugs..

A D-...

I got a fucking D- on my math quiz.

I swear, I'm the dumbest one in my class. Everyone thinks that I get perfect A's in math, because I'm quiet. I don't talk. I just sit, do as the teacher commands us to, and work. Work. Work.

That was my first D-.. ever.

I don't get D's or F's. In fact, teachers love me! They praise me for being such a quiet and "good-working student" I smile when they compliment me, but inside I'm telling them to shut the fuck up.

But I musn't use that language to my teachers, or anyone else.

Disrespect.

"Disrespectful children do bad things, and bad things lead to bad decisions, and bad decisions lead to a bad life" my mother always said.

I personally thought that was a little harsh, and I always wanted to say that, but like she said.. Disrespectful children have "bad lives".

I go up the steps leading to my front porch.

Almost there.

I touch the doorknob, and suck in a breath, preparing for the yelling to start.

It's not my mother I'm worried about, although she is a very strict woman, but my father, who sits at the kitchen table, reading the news with his wire glasses on.

I always wondered why he read the paper in the afternoon and not the morning.

He said something about "not having enough time" even though he works at noon.

My father's a lawyer.

He makes a load of money, always bringing home McDonalds or subway whenever he wins a case.

When he doesn't though, you can't talk to him without getting screamed at.

I've always hated how condescending and fierce his voice sounds when he yells. It always scared me.

I walk slowly. He watches me like I'm his prey.

I swallow hard when I stand across from him.

"Beatrice" he says in greeting.

Oh shit. Oh shit. I can't do this.

I can't show it to him.

I can't show him my failure.

I can hide it. I can slip it under my shirt and just pretend like nothings wrong, and then burn it later in the night, when everyone's sleeping.

Except he's already seen the paper, just not the D- written in bold red, splattered across the front. I have that side of the paper faced towards my leg, my jeans just barely hiding the grade.

I have to show him now.

I look down, defeated, and slowly slide the paper over to him cautiously, as if he might bite my hand off any second now, and then I carefully pull back, my hand resting on my thigh,

And wait.

And wait.

I wait for a while, him staring at the paper, fire in his eyes. He's mad. I know he is.

Until he finally gets up and slowly make his way towards me.

He pauses.

And then he starts.

Except it is not the shouting I was expecting. He is calm, his voice is almost a whisper.

"What is this Beatrice?"

I stare at his black dress shoes, which are perfectly polished, like always.

"I failed my math quiz sir, I'm sorry.."

"You failed? You failed? What you did was worse than fail"

His voice starts to rise

" A D-? I thought you were better than that Beatrice! But I guess not!"

His voice is booming now. He spits my name out like it's poison. I hate it.

He crouches a little, so we're face to face.

"Do you want to end up on the streets?"

I shake my head no

"No, you don't! so if you don't want end up as a homeless idiot with no job than I suggest-"

"DAD STOP!"

I'm panting, tears are streaming down my face, and my vision is blurry. I can't look at him right now. So I stare at the light above him, wishing I could be anywhere else but here.

"I'm sorry alright? It was one D-! I'm just not good at math and I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please, please, just stop yelling...I-I'm sorry"

My legs are shaking and my voice trembles, but his face stays the same.

In a fast movement, he yanks at my wrist, and pulls me closer to him, I can feel his breath on my face.

His grip is so tight.

"Stop. Crying." Is all he says before he sends me to my room.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"Pack your suit case, were leaving"

"Why, what's happening?"

He kneels down, a fiery look in his eye as he says in a low voice

"Just do what I say Beatrice"

I nod and he leaves the room.

I start to get my suitcase down, and glance at the clock shining brightly in the darkness of my room.

1:34 am

Why are we leaving at 1 and where are we going? Why did dad seem like he was in a rush?

I don't know

I finish packing my suitcase with all needed necessities and head down stairs to find a disaster.

Mom has a purple bruise on her left cheek, and his holding my 16 year old brother caleb, who is crying his eyes out. Something bad must have happened if he's crying.

Caleb never cries.

I run to my mother, and she embraces me.

"Whats going on mom?"

She sighs and pulls back, wiping my now wet cheeks

"I love you alright? I love you so much, I want you to know that"

"I love you too mom. What's happening?"

A tear slides down her face

"I need you to be brave, Beatrice"

And that's when my father grabs my arm and yanks me to his side

"We won't be coming back" he says to my mom

She starts to protest

" no Andrew, you can't do this!"

She starts to shout and grab me, but he pulls me to his other side

I start sobbing

Mom pushes "dad" screaming at him saying "she's my daughter, you can't take her away!"

That's when all hell breaks loose.

He pushes her back..

Hard.

So hard that she falls on her back.

He straddles her and starts slapping, punching while I claw at his back and scream for him to stop.

When he does, my mother's faces is more blood than flesh, and run to her.

Well..I _try _ to run to her, but he snatches me up in his arms and carries me to the car, with me screaming the whole way.

He drives

And I cry and scream. I pound on his seat

"Stop the car! Stop the car! I hate you! I hate you!"

When he does stop, he stops in a secluded part of the road.

He pulls me out of the car.

We're standing face to face.

Well..face to chest, since I am shorter and smaller.

And he hits me hard on the cheek.

I fall to the ground crying, but he picks me up seconds later, throws me into the van,

And drives far far away from what I once called my home

That was the first time he's ever slapped me.

That was 2 years ago.

I'm seventeen now.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF IT IN THE COMMENTS! Thanks, bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Would you like me to bag this?" I ask as I hold up the milk.

"No thank you dear"

As I finish up the groceries, I glance at the clock

12:34 a.m.

I can't be late. I don't think I can handle any more beatings from him this week.

The first was on Monday, and that was for not vacuuming his room. The second was on Wednesday for accidentally spilling coffee on one of his "work papers". Third was on Friday for making "rude eye contact" with one of his co-workers who came over for dinner.

Today is Saturday, and I'm still sore from the last beating yesterday. He lashed out at me the second our guest was gone.

I was completely unprepared.

He grabbed a fist full of my shirt and slammed me in the corner of the counter multiple times.

It hurt like hell. I have a giant purple bruise on the right side of my hip.

I reach over the cash register to give the woman her card back, and I feel a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, so of course I scream out in pain, startling the poor old woman in front of me.

"Oh uh-" I clear my throat awkwardly

"I'm so sorry for that miss, I just remembered an errand that I had to run" I lie to her, and then I make the same screaming/grunting noise that I made before, except I add a nervous chuckle at the end.

She stares at me with wide round eyes. I face palm myself for being so stupid. If I did that in front of father he would slap me across the cheek and tell me to stop being so disruptive, that's selfish.

She quickly snatches her card and grocery bag and leaves, giving me an odd look as the automatic doors open for her.

I slump back and sigh.

And then I look at the clock.

1:12 a.m.

PAGE BREAK

I tiptoe up the stairs to the apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible, but end up slipping on a step and I fall. My knees hit the hard wood.

I wince, but brush it off.

I jiggle the keys slightly into the keyhole and turn it.

As soon as I close the door, a wonderful feeling overcomes me. Relief. And happiness. I love this feeling that I only get to feel once in a while, but I cherish it when it comes.

And then a light turns on.

"Your late"

PAGE BREAK

I flutter my eyes open.

My cheek is wet, and I'm laying on a hard surface. I must've passed out and started drooling.

I start to get up, and wince immediately at the pain

Not a good idea, so I start slow.

I lift my face from the floor and slowly get onto my hands and knees. I look at the wood, searching for my wonderful drool pile that I made, except that it's not drool that I find, it's blood.

I touch my hand to my lips, and when I draw back there's a little blood stain on my fingertips.

I stand up slowly, and make my way to the bathroom.

When I look in the mirror I almost gasp at my reflection.

I have a cut lip, a black eye, and my shirt is torn.

I turn on the shower, turning the handle all the way to the left so it's cold.

I start to strip, only to find more wonderful surprises on my thighs.

I step into the water, my safe haven, my love.

The ice cold water numbs the pain, and I sigh.

PAGE BREAK

"Beatrice, I need you to go to the market today" Andrew tells me quickly, as he walks to the front door

I nod.

As soon as he leaves I make myself a cup of coffee, and get my purse, which has pepper spray in it.

I've always asked myself why I never used it on Andrew. I guess I never really got the chance. He always pins me to the floor, and since he's so much heavier than I am, I can never move a muscle. Maybe I'll use it next time. _Maybe.._

PAGE BREAK

I walk around the busy market, happy that I wore a baseball cap so people don't see the hideous mark on my face.

I stop by the dried fruits section.

Dried strawberries

Dried blueberries

Dried pineapple

And dried grapes

I reach for the last container of dried strawberries expecting to feel plastic, but instead I feel something smooth and warm. A hand.

I look to my side and see a man staring at me, with his eyebrow cocked up.

I immediately pull back "oh sorry.."

He chuckles

"The next time I see you touchin my strawberries, I won't hesitate" he says in a low voice

My eyes get wide and I step back.

I nod, looking down, and start to turn

"Hey wait-"

He puts his hand on my shoulder and turns me around

"I was only kidding" he says with a smile on his face, but a bewildered look in his eye, like he's afraid I might start break dancing any moment now.

"Oh.. I thought you just had a strange love for strawberries" I tell him jokingly, but still keeping my mouth in a straight, hard line.

If father saw me talking to him right now, he would kill me. He's never allowed me to talk to anyone of the opposite sex, besides him. He was always overly protective of me. Never allowing me to go on any dates back when I was just turning 15, and still living with my mother and brother. "Boys are nothing but trouble, Beatrice" he would always tell me.

He chuckles "well actually I do have a definite passion for strawberries, but I wouldn't threaten someone for them, no"

He's strange.

"Yes well it was nice meeting you sir"

"Tobias" he says, holding his hand out to me

"Call me Tobias" he says with a wink

I raise my eyebrows slightly, though he can't see that. Is he flirting? I wouldn't know. Boys don't look at me in that lustful way that I've seen them do with beautiful girls. I shake his hand.

"And your name is?"

"Huh? Oh, my name! It's Beatrice"

"Well," he looks over my body, as if there's anything to look at. I have no curves. But his eyes roam everywhere, from my thighs to my neck.

"It was nice meeting you, Beatrice"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I stare at the rain droplets covering my sneakers.

My hair is damp, and my whole body feels moist from the humidity.

I step in a large puddle on the sidewalk, causing the end of my jeans to get even more soaked than they already were.

The grocery bags in my hand seem to be getting heavier by the second, even though I added nothing to them. A rain drop slowly slides down my cheek, and onto my shoulder. I love rain. I always have.

When I was a little kid, my mother and I would always sit out on our porch to watch the thunderstorms that occurred in the summer. "The quieter the sound, the farther they are" she said to me, but I loved the sounds. The roar that the clouds made that always startled me when I wasn't ready for them.

And the lightning. So beautiful. A sudden flash of light. You never know where it might strike.

The storms we got in Oregon we're often very long. They would last for days, maybe even weeks.

I would wake up to the hard pitter-patter of water against our roof, thumping every 2 seconds.

Now the rain is calm. The opposite of Oregon's. For some people, they would say it's pouring, but for me this is nothing, just a light sprinkle.

PAGE BREAK

"Yes Jim, well it looks like this storm is heading towards..."

I lay on my couch, lazily twirling my necklace around my finger.

_The _ necklace, that my mother gave to me when I was only 9 years old. It's the only thing I have left of her, so I wear it everyday. It's like I have her with me in a way.

This necklace is a gold chain, with a cross hanging from it. Written on the back of the cross in tiny bold letters are the words "_**FEAR GOD ALONE"**_.

When I had first gotten the jewelry, my first instinct was to brag about it to all my friends.

"Yeah, it's made of real gold and everything" I remember saying

But then one girl asked me "what does fear God alone mean?"

And I panicked. I had to come up with something, so I said "it means that if you don't believe in him, he'll come down from heaven and gobble you up. You didn't know that?"

I have no idea how my small immature mind came up with that. But hey, I was imaginative..

But the girl didn't take it so well.

As soon as the words left my lips, her mouth went all the way down to her chest. Not in shock, but to wail. She wailed her fucking heart out.

Later that day as I was eating dinner, my mother told me that she got a call from the principle, saying that I made another girl cry. Which technically I did do, but I didn't admit that of course.

I stood up from the table abruptly, causing my brother and father's heads turn to me.

"I DID NOT! SHES A LIAR MOM, A LIAR!" I yelled angrily.

And then I was punished.

She took away my precious necklace for 2 weeks, and my father smacked me hard on the ass repeatedly.

"That was a rude outburst Beatrice. Very selfish" he said while smacking me one last time.

Right now all of that is almost a blur, as if it never happened. It was all just a dream. And maybe it was. Maybe I never even had a mother, or brother who I cared for deeply. Maybe it's always been just my father and I. Sometimes I want to believe that.

It's not nearly as painful

PAGE BREAK

I curl my spaghetti around my fork, and then place it in my mouth slowly. I hate spaghetti.

My father sits across from me, working on one of his cases, occasionally taking a big bite of his dinner.

"Did you get the groceries?"

"Yes father"

"Did you dust the counters?"

"Yes father"

"Did you vacuum the floor?"

"Yes father"

Silence

"You are dismissed"

I get up from my original spot and go to my room, silently shutting the door. This happens every night. It's like our routine.

As soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out like a light

PAGE BREAK

8:36 a.m.

The constant beeping noise of the computer every time I scan a grocery item is starting to get on my last nerve.

I want to un plug the Damn thing right here, in the middle of checking out this customers groceries.

Or even better, I could pour a bucket of ice cold water on it, or cut the cord, or beat the shit out of it.

"And your total amount is 94.36$"

He hands me his card and I scan it quickly

"Have a good day" I tell him as he leaves. He smiles back in response.

I look at the floor. I'm so tired. I have to work an early shift this morning since Caitlyn got the flu out of nowhere.

All I want to do is sit and rest. I scan the store real quick. It's nearly empty. So I do sit. On the ground. My back is against the wall and I curl my knees up to my chest, and close my eyes.

"Miss?..excuse me miss?"

I feel something warm on my right shoulder and immediately snap awake, startling the person that woke me up.

"Beatrice, it's nice to see you again" I hear a low voice say

I look to my right to see the strange man from the market.

I feel my face heat up in embarrassment. He lends his hand out to me

"Here, let me help you up" I take his hand slowly, and stare up at him since he is about 6 ft, and I'm only 5'7.

"Thank you. Sorry I must've accidentally fallen asleep"

He shakes his head and waves his hand at me

"No worries, I sleep around when I'm at work too" he smirks

I now notice that he's carrying multiple items and I face palm.

"Oh! I'll take these" I grab the items out of his hand and start scanning

2 packs of light bulbs

One can of white paint

A roller

And a couple of screws

"Are you working on some kind of project?" I ask him, gesturing to the items he picked out

"Yes actually, I'm thinking of re-doing my apartment, adding in some new floor boards, a flat screen, putting in a pool table"

"Sounds like a man's dream" I chuckle slightly. He's creating his own "man cave"

He looks me over before saying " yeah, you should come check it out some time"

I look up

"But I just met you"

"Fine, then how about you give me your number so we can get to know each other better?"

I stop what I'm doing and really look at him. Who is he? Where the hell did he come from?

"How old are you?" I ask suspiciously

"25. How old are you?"

I want to slap myself in the face. He's 25, way too old for me. If father doesn't want me seeing guys that are my age, I can only imagine how he would feel about me just having a conversation with this 25 year old devilishly handsome young man.

"17" I answer him, and I expect him to raise his eyebrows in surprise, or tell me "never mind about your number, I'm into older women" and then awkwardly walk away.

He stays where he is. Just watching me

I get out a piece of scrap paper and write my cell phone number down on it in my chicken-scratch writing, and hand it to him

He looks it over for a few seconds, analyzing it.

He smiles

"I'll call you"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW **


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**HEY GUYS! So sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been busy as hell lately. But I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I really loved writing this, it think this was adorable. Please leave me reviews and comments. OH! And I have also changed Tobias's age to 22**

**PLEASE READ**

**Hey guys, so I'm changing Tobias's age. It is no longer 25, it's 22. That's all. Enjoy!**

Chapter 4

Tap

Tap

Tap

All I hear is the sound of my fingers against the granite counter top. I'm slouched over with my elbows propped up, and my face in my hands.

I stare at the phone in front of me.

No, I'm not waiting for him to call me...I just think it would be awful for him to have to leave a voicemail.. And then I would have to listen to it, and call him back and if he didn't answer then I'd leave a voicemail and he'd have to listen and call me back and...

It's just complicated.

So I'm waiting.

I've been waiting.

For two days.

Two. Fucking. Days.

Maybe he's not interested. Maybe he was just _being a guy_, and flirting with me for his entertainment. Well..He wasn't necessarily _flirting_, but he was talking..

I sigh, and straighten my back.

_Forget it_

I'm not going to wait around all day for a call that will probably not even come.

_So stupid._

Father is out doing God knows what, and I'm stuck in here on a Friday evening doing nothing.

Fantabulous.

I plop onto the sofa, and turn on the tv.

1 HOUR LATER

8:45 p.m.

"So Pam, would you like to take the money? Or risk it all!"

I stare intently at the tv screen.

Just take the God Damn money Pam,just take the money,

"Just take the fucking money Pam!" I accidentally scream out loud. I cover my mouth

If father heard me say that, he would beat me half to death. I just hope the neighbors didn't hear.

They zoom in on her "thinking face", making it even more dramatic than it already is.

"Well steve...I think"

she pauses

"I think I'm going to...RISK IT ALL!"

The crowd cheers with enthusiasm.

I shake my head. What a fucking idiot. She won 10 grand and now she's going to lose it all, I'm surprised she got that money in the first place, since her answer to the question "what is your perfect date" was April 23..

And then I hear it. The sound I've been wanting to hear all day. The joyful ringing of my phone comes from the kitchen counter.

My head turns to the sound, and I bolt off the couch, and slam into the counter, not before tripping on my way there.

I pick it up

"Hello?"

PAGE BREAK

I slurp on my slushy, getting colder by the moment. I probably shouldn't of ordered a cold drink to go with the freezing weather.

"So, Tris" the handsome man asks me

"Tell me about yourself" he takes a long gulp of his coffee, and I can't help but stare at his plump bottom lip, where a dribble of coffee lays. He licks his lip, and smirks. I assume he caught me staring.

I clear my throat.

"Well there's nothing much to tell really. I work at CVS, I have a part time job working at the homeless center, doing my charity work, there's not really much to know about me"

"You sound pretty interesting to me so far, working at cvs are you kidding? That jobs exciting, Damn I wish I worked there"

I smirk at him while shaking my head "the most exciting thing that's ever happened is the discounts we get on Christmas. What do you do huh? What's your job? Your...thing?"

"My thing? He cocks an eyebrow up and I shrug

"Well, I'm studying to be a businessman. My great grandfather was a businessman and his son was a businessman and his son was a businessman, so now my father is passing it on to me to lead the family. We go generations back" he says looking at the ground and nodding, like he's agreeing with himself.

"And is that what you want?" I ask him "to follow in your father's footsteps?"

He stops, and looks at me.

His hands are in his Jean pockets, and his eyes look sincere. And his lips, so perfectly full, pink, and soft. It is now how much I realize his much I want to lay my lips on his.

I feel a strange spark in my lower abdomen, making its way up to my chest, like smoke from a fire.

Jesus, I'm already breathing heavily and all I'm doing is staring at him.

He has a small smirk planted in his face, and I realize he's staring at me too.

His eyes wonder to my thighs, and travel up slowly, stopping abruptly at my hips.

He licks his lips and continues his gaze until he meets my eyes.

"We should go in, the movies about to start"

PAGE BREAK

I flinch at all the blood splattering across the screen.

I hate horror movies, although I was the one who suggested seeing one

He must notice my discomfort, because he says

"Are you alright? We can leave if you want?"

I shake my head

"No, I'm fine it's alright" he nods his head and stares back at the screen, not before putting his strong arms around me first, giving me a gentle reassuring squeeze.

I freeze. No guy has ever touched me like this before. I'm not used to it.

Should I put my arm around him? Should I kiss him? Lay my head on his shoulder maybe? Is that what people do? I don't know, so I just stay as still as I possibly can

That is until I get sick from all of the blood and veins, and dash to the nearest exit.

PAGE BREAK

I hurl over the side of the street, and kneel.

More chunks start to come up. You can never describe the taste of vomit. It's disgusting in its own way, there's no words for it.

My breathing become uncontrollable, and heavy. The last time I puked was 7 years ago, it was new years eve and I was eating an abnormal amount of chocolate truffles and potato skins. I would lean over the toilet, with my mother rubbing my back, soothingly, much like Tobias is right now.

Tears are pouring down my face, not because of the memory, but because of how terribly awful this is. All of this.

It's my first date with an incredibly handsome man and I just have to puke in front of him. God Dammit, things were going so well.

I finally stop the chunks from flowing, and sit on my knees.

A tissue is in front of my face, and I take it while whispering "thank you"

I wipe my eyes and mouth, and start to control my breathing.

It's only now that I realize how exhausting puking can be. I close my eyes, and my head falls to the side

"C'mon, let's get you home Tris" I hear Tobias say.

All of a sudden I'm being picked up bridal style, but I'm too tired to care.

PAGE BREAK

I hear a door being unlocked, and he sets me down on something soft.

I open my eyes slightly to see Tobias's dark curls.

I start to play with them, twisting my fingers, unraveling his hair from my hands and re-raveling it again.

"Your very handsome, I just want you to know that" I say with a sigh

I can hear his deep laugh

"And your very beautiful Tris" he sets his hand on my thigh "very beautiful"

He gives me a kiss on the cheek, less than a centimeter a way from my lips, and holds his mouth there for a while before he tells me to get some rest.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW AND COMMENT OF WHAT YOU THINK**


	5. Chapter 5

**PLEASE REVIEW**

Chapter 5

I wake to the sound of sizzling.

I sit up quickly, and immediately regret it.

My head pounds every 2 seconds in pain.

I touch my hand to my forehead and groan.

"Good morning"

I look up to find Tobias staring at me with a smirk on his face, and a plate of bacon in his hand. He hands me a piece.

"How are you feeling?" He asks glancing at my head

"My heads a little sore, but other than that I'm alright" my voice sounds scratchy and higher than usual, like a small squeak.

I clear my throat

"I made you some breakfast" he nods his head towards the small table

"Lets eat"

PAGE BREAK

I hold my stomach and slightly lean over, trying not to choke on my water.

I cover my ears with my hands and swallow slowly.

And then I start laughing again

"So your telling me" laugh "that after he passed out" laugh "you hid him under a blanket" laugh "and no one noticed him?" Laugh

"Yeah, I mean they were pretty high too since we offered them some of it"

"And they took it?"

"Yep"

"But their cops!"

"Not very good ones. Oh and I ended up driving them home, since I was the only sober one"

I cover my smile with my hand and wipe away the tears forming in my eyes with the other.

"But that was in college, and all of my friends then are probably in jail now" he says with a slight chuckle.

"Ok your turn. Tell me one of your crazy stories"

I stare at him

And then I look down shaking my head with a slight smile on my face

"I don't have any crazy stories" I say with a hint of a laugh

"The most wild thing that's ever happened to me was seeing a yellow-headed black bird last summer" I say rolling my eyes at how pathetic I sound

"So your into bird watching then?" He cocks his eye brow up

I almost choke on my water

"Oh god no, I wouldn't be able to do that. It requires a lot of patience, which I obviously don't have"

He looks at me, like I'm an alien of some sort from another planet.

He clears his throat

"But again, I'm sorry for bringing you here, I just didn't know where you lived, and this was the first place I thought of"

I shake my head

"Oh no don't apologize, you could've left me in the middle of the road if you wanted to"

He chuckles

"What a perfect way to end a first date. Dammit, why didn't I think of that before" he snaps his fingers, with fake frustration.

I laugh

He looks me over one more time before saying "I should get you home"

PAGE BREAK

"Well this is it" I stop abruptly at my apartment door, fumbling with the keys in my hand.

I don't want him to go. I'd do anything to make him stay with me for just an hour longer, but I'm _trying_ to not be clingy. I doubt he would want to spend another minute with me, when we just spent 2 hours at his place, eating breakfast and talking.

"You know, I did give you a tour of my place, I think it's only fair if you showed me yours"

I begin to say yes, but then I stop myself.

"Oh shit"

I grab his wrist, and look at the time

9:54 a.m.

Father will be home any minute now

"No no no, you have to leave. Right now" I start to push him towards the stairs, but he walks very slowly, his feet only moving slightly.

"Dammit, how much do you weigh?" I say, struggling to get him to move faster.

He turns his head and smirks

"I think it's cute that you think you can move me"

I stare up at him and blow on the hair piece that's in my eyes.

I lick my lips

"Move!" I say slightly in a joking manner

"Mmm, feisty huh?"

I stop pushing, and cross my arms, looking at him accusingly

He puts his hands up in surrender

"Ok, ok I'm going"

He starts to descend down the stairs, but stops in the middle of a step, and looks back up at me

"I'll pick you up tonight at 10:30"

"Wear something you can dance in"

PAGE BREAK

I stir my salad around, smiling

He's beautiful with his muscular body, and beautiful blue eyes. Beautiful.

One problem.

He said I have to wear something that I can dance in. Well, two problems.

My clothes are stiff and dull, and I can't dance.

Well, I don't really _know_ if I _can_ dance. I took ballet when I was younger, but I ended up quitting a month after I started, since another girl "accidentally" stepped on my foot.

It turns out the damage was worse than I thought. I had large brace all the way up to my knee for two months. "Accident" sure.

My father slams his fist on the counter, making me nearly jump out of my own skin

"Why are you smiling" he says with a suspicious look in his eye

"I-I'm not smiling"

_Slap_

His voice rises

"Dont. Lie. To. Me. You know better than that"

I move my hair out of my face, and rub my cheek. Dumb. I _do _know better. I don't know what's wrong with me today.

I don't know what to say. He stands there, inches from my face, tapping his foot.

_Just tell him the truth._ A voice says

_He's your father, he'll understand._

The only problem is that he's not like that anymore. He's changed. But part of me won't accept that for some reason. Part of me still loves him. Not the him he is _now, _but the him he used to be.

"Mrs. Jackson was asking about you today" his eye brows lift

"Yeah...I was downstairs doing the laundry, like you asked me to...And she just came up to me and started talking about you, saying how handsome she thought you were, and then she asked if you were single"

"And?" He raises one eyebrow

"I said yes"

He smirks, a devious look in his eyes

"I'll have to stop by her place later"

I nod my head, when I want to slap him across the face. I have a mother. He has a wife. Well... had. I never found out if they got a divorce. Every time I asked about it he would lock me in my room.

Mrs. Jackson, is my neighbor. She's 29, more than half my father's age. She's rich. She lives on the top floor. We speak once in a while. She's had multiple "surgeries" done to her body. She cakes her face in make up and has a different boyfriend each month. She only uses them for sex though.

I always feel bad for the men she brings home. I can't help but stare. Their incredibly attractive of course, and rich. But snotty, and immature, just like Miss Jackson. After she's done using them for her pleasure, she tosses them out.

It's like a ritual really. She bangs them, and then the next thing you know the guys clothes are being thrown out the window with her screaming profanities at the poor man. I understand why all the guys fall for her. I wish I had a body like hers.

She has an hour glass figure, when I have a stick like body, no curves in sight. The only thing is, she's had so many surgeries done to her face, she's starting to look like a barbequed Barbie.

She _did_ approach me, she just didn't ask me about my father. She asked me about my love life. This was before I met Tobias.

I told her "no relationship. I'm Focusing more on school. I'm graduating soon, so I-" she cuts me off there

"Oh sweetie, you poor thing. Guys don't like smart girls" she starts to snort but then her eyes brighten

"I could help you! I can transform you to someone else, someone-" she looks me over, her eyes judging me "better" she finishes

"No thanks"

That was the end of that conversation.

I know that she didn't exactly mean to hurt my feelings. She's just like that. She doesn't care about what words happen to pop out of her mouth.

She wants me to be a mini her. Im sure of it. She's always trying to get me to wear some of her clothing. I wouldn't even call it that. It's more of just a thin strip of cloth. Barely covering anything. Just the "important parts" or so she says.

It is true about it my father and her though, their always giving each other side glances.

Him looking at her breasts and her looking at somewhere below the waist...

It makes me want to puke. My father has brought home many women. I assume from a strip club, but he's never managed to get miss Jackson, he most likely never will.

"Ok, I'm leaving." Father straightens his tie while looking in the mirror

"Don't die" he murmurs while shutting the door.

My shoulder slump. I hadn't realized I was so tense. I look at the time

9:00 p.m.

I have an hour and a half to get ready.

I go to my closet, and unsurprisingly, I have nothing.

I sit down on the edge of my bed.

Where can I go that has clothing that aren't too pricey. I start to pace. I need a dress of some sort. It has to be comfortable...but it has to look good. It has to look...sexy. I want to look sexy for Tobias. It's embarrassing to admit that. I've never wanted that before.

My eyes brighten.

"Of course!" I say aloud

PAGE BREAK

"Oh! Oh I know! Try this one on! It's incredibly sexy! "

I Immediately regret my decision.

I stand in the middle of miss Jackson's giant living room

This was a mistake, a big, big mistake.

She pops up

"Found one!" She shouts in that nasily voice of hers. I sigh

"Shut up and try it on" she shouts at me, and points to the bathroom.

PAGE BREAK

I circle the counter for the 12th time. What if he doesn't like it?

I stare subconsciously at my outfit.

It's showing way more than I planned.

I'm wearing a tight little black skirt that goes mid-thighs with a flowing black shirt that just covers my shoulders, and shows a thin strip of my stomach. And miss Jackson insisted on me wearing her black heels and long silver necklace

"I remember the first time I wore this dress at the club. Guys were all over me" she said with a smirk

I hear a knock at the door, and pray to God that it's not father, coming back because he accidentally forgot something.

I open the door and sigh with relief. I've never been so happy to see Tobias.

He's looking down at the floor, fiddling with his Jean pockets.

He looks up.

He stares at me.

His eyes make their way down my body, and stop for a couple of seconds at my hips, and then his eyes meet mine.

And it's my turn.

He wears a button up shirt with jeans, with his hair in perfect form. I can just faintly see the lining of his muscles. I bite my lip, and look up to see him swallow hard.

He gives me his hand and pulls me toward him. I lock the door and turn towards him again to notice him closer than usual.

He leans down to my ear and says

"You look good, Tris"

PAGE BREAK

Tobias hands me my drink.

We stand by the bar, the place is filled with people, and the music is blasting so loud I can barely hear my self think.

I stare at my drink. _Alcohol..._

"Whats wrong?" Tobias shouts

"Haven't you ever seen a drink before" he says jokingly

I open my mouth but nothing comes out

"What?" He shouts

I almost chuckle

"I've never had a drink before" I shout back to him

His eye brows lift in surprise. But then he smiles, and says to the bartender

"Two more"

PAGE BREAK

I take a long gulp and slam the cup down

Tobias laughs "I'm guessing your enjoying that"

I nod my head vigorously while smiling

We've both had several drinks, but Tobias still seems to be the most sober one. Well.. I guess that makes sense since I did have just a few more than him.

He looks out on to the dance floor

"Lets d-"

"What?" I shout

"Lets dance" he shouts

I nod my head.

He leads me in the middle of the dance floor. But then I realize I don't know what to do.

I look at the people around me and notice that their not necessarily _dancing_ but _jumping._

So I jump.

My hair fly s every where, my feet pound on the ground, and I start to laugh.

PAGE BREAK

He slams into his door and I burst out laughing

"Oops" he says smiling

I lean over the railing, swaying, while trying to control my laughter, while Tobias unlocks his door.

He takes my hand and leads me inside.

PAGE BREAK

"Lets play a game" Tobias says

I walk around his house, slightly swaying

I laugh

"A game?" I ask laughing

"Yeah. A game" Tobias slurrs his words, but manages to slowly walk toward me.

"Its called "the kiss Tobias for as long as you can" game" he says

I burst out laughing and turn around, while almost falling. I set my hand on the wall, and lean into it.

"I've never heard of that game"

"Oh it's very popular from where I'm from" he raises his finger in the air and slurrs

"Hhmm...Lets plays a different game"

He shakes his head

"No no no no no. We _have_ to play this game. It's in the drinking rule book" he grabs a random book off of the shelf

"Yes, yes. It says here on page 10 that if a girl" he points to me "and a guy" he points to himself.

As he's talking I walk closer to him

"Are alone together in the guys apartment then...then they both have to viciously make out for as long as possible!" He says enthusiastically

I'm close now. I take the book out of his hands and drop it on the floor.

I look up at him and say

"Well...if it's in the rule book.."

I pull his face towards mine and our lips smash into each other. I wrap both my arms around his neck while his go around my waist, where he slightly lifts me up, so I can get a better angle.

He walks us backward, and I slip out of my shoes. We find the couch, and I fall backwards, with him on top.

He starts to kiss my neck, while I unbutton his shirt.

He kisses my collarbone, then right under my jaw, and then my chest.

I have somehow succeeded in unbuttoning his shirt.

He sits up on his knees, and I now have full view of his abs and chest. He takes off his shirt, and starts to pull up my shirt.

He starts kissing all over my stomach, and I moan.

I pull at his hair and our lips connect again. I work at his jeans, trying desperately to unzip them.

His hand are everywhere. He grabs my hips and slightly squeezes while pulling at my bottom lip.

_Ring ring ring_

Tobias and I both sit up immediately, startled.

I stare at my phone on the table, and snatch it. I press answer.

Tobias sits on his knees again, with my legs underneath him, as he waits. We're both panting heavily as I say

"Hello?"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Longest. Chapter. Ever. **

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys didn't think I would leave you waiting at a cliffhanger for long did you? Naw, I'm not **_**that**_** mean...**

**well...**

Chapter 6

"Get your ass over here, right now!"

Miss Jackson screams at me over the phone

"What?" I pant "why, what's wrong?"

"I need that outfit right now,"

"Look," her voice gets quieter "my boyfriend's coming over in 20 minutes"

"So?"

She sighs and says

"He _loves _it when I wear that out fit, and I mean _really_ loves it. It's the only way I can get him into bed. I don't know what it is, but I don't care. He's amazing in bed, and I mean _amazing"_

She giggles

I look at Tobias to see his face full of confusion. He mouths a "who is it?" And I shake my head.

"Wait," she says

"Why are you panting?"

She gasps "your with him aren't you! Right now? Did you do the deed? Is he good?"

I get up

"I don't know what your talking about"

She starts snorting

"Oh please, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Your not a virgin any more!"

I hold up a finger to Tobias and go into the bathroom

"We didn't have sex. I wouldn't do that"

"Oh sure you would sweetie, any girl would" she laughs

"But I need that dress, so if your not here in-" she pauses

"10 minutes, then you'll be paying for that outfit, which is over 500$. I don't think that gorgeous father of yours would be very happy about that. You better get going missy"

The line goes dead

PAGE BREAK

"I'm so sorry, I have to go" I start jogging for the door

"What? What do you mean? What's wrong?"

"Oh it's.. it's a family emergency. I'm sorry, I wish I could stay" I walk over to him and give him a goodbye kiss on the cheek. I turn around, but he catches my hand, and pulls me back toward him for another kiss, and holds me there.

He takes my face in his hands and pulls on my bottom lip with his full ones. My shoulders slump, and I relax. I tilt my head up, and grab his shoulders.

I don't want to leave. I could kiss him forever. He glides his hand up and down my side, making chills appear on my arms. I shudder. He grabs my hip, slightly squeezing the spot that my father banged against the corner of the kitchen counter a couple days ago, and as Tobias squeezes harder, the pain starts to increase little by little.

I break away from him.

"I have to go" I say quietly

He has this hungry look in his eyes, which I'm sure I have to.

"I can drive you"

"No that's okay, I'll take the bus"

"The bus? No way, do you know how many diseases you can get from a new York city bus?" He says with a small smile

"I think I'll be okay," I grab his face in my hands, and kiss him on the cheek slowly

"But thanks"

PAGE BREAK

I burst through the door while shouting "I'm here, I'm here! It's ok, I'm here!"

There, in the middle of her living room floor, lays miss Jackson and her boyfriend, having sex.

That's when the screaming starts.

I slap my hands over my eyes and scream, while miss Jackson and her "lover" are doing the same thing while trying to cover themselves up.

I run out , leap down the stairs, and bust down my apartment door.

Still screaming as I slam my door shut

PAGE BREAK

I bang my head against the wall repeatedly, trying to un-see what I've just seen.

But there is no going back from that.

I groan loudly.

I thought she said the only way she could get her boyfriend in bed was if she was wearing this outfit.

I hear a jiggling sound, like coins being rattled, and my head snaps toward the door. I look at the clock.

12:59

I hear the squeak of a door opening

PAGE BREAK

hot tears run down my face as I scream at him

"No dad, stop!" My voice cracks at that last word, making me sound even more desperate and pathetic.

But he doesn't stop. He kicks. Over and over again. He punches, fist after fist. He slaps, hand after hand. He only stops when I am silent, and unable to speak. His face is beet red, and sweat pours from his face. He bends down toward my face, and pants

"You know the rules, Beatrice"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Please leave me reviews! Tell me what you think should happen next!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Does anyone know what Shakespeare was-"

I gently run my fingers over my eye, where a dark purple bruise has formed.

After the beating, father left. For a long time.

I don't know where he went, or why he was the one who left, since he wasn't the one who got beaten to a pulp, but he did.

He hasn't been back since.

That was two days ago. I'm getting worried.

He has gotten in trouble with the police before. He was drunk, and apparently he tried to fight an officer who offered him a ride home.

Two cops showed up at the door asking me, "do you know this man?"

Father was too drunk to know what was actually going on. His head kept on swaying from one side to another, and his mouth was open, allowing me to smell is wretched breath, which smelt of weed and alcohol.

I could've said no. It could've been over right then and there.

"I've never seen him before in my life" I could've said

but some part of me wanted him back. A part of me was relieved to know that he was safe.

Of course, I said I did know him, and that he's my father.

They laid him on the couch and then told me what happened, but I didn't need them to figure out what was going on myself. He's a drug addict. He "loves that shit" or so he says.

I'm not saying I support that, but he's friendlier when he is on them. He'll act like the father he used to be. The father I used to love.

One day he came home so completely high.

He came up to me and just stared at me. For a long time. I was scared of course. every time he would stare, it was usually because I did something wrong, and that was his way of saying "I'm gonna beat the shit out of you, so savor these last few minutes before it comes"

But he didn't hurt me. He hugged me. He said he was sorry for being a terrible father, and that "I deserve so much better"

I broke down crying. That was the first time in a long time my father had said something nice to me. Except afterwards he kissed my forehead and said

"Now shut the fuck up and get to bed"

He doesn't come home anymore when he's getting high. He figured out that he's a "somewhat" nice person when he is, besides the "shut the fuck up" incident. He's stayed out all night before, but never for days.

"Miss Prior!"

I snap my head up, and raise my eyebrows at the teacher

"Can _you_ answer my question?"

I lick my lips and slowly nod my head

_Shit_

"Yes, yes...well... Shakespeare said, in Romeo and Juliet, "Whats in a name...that which we call..a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. What he means is..is"

I'm having trouble finding my words

_don't start stuttering, don't start stuttering, don't you dare, Not here, not here._

"Yes?" The teacher raises his slim eyebrows

"Juliet...was saying that...a name-" I pause

"Is an artificial and meaningless convention, and that she loves the person who is called "Montague", not the Montague name and not the Montague family" I finish with a small nod of the head

The teacher suddenly has this wide smirk on his face as he says

"Looks like someone's been paying attention"

PAGE BREAK

"So what was that about the other night, hmm?" Tobias raises his eyebrows, a worried expression on his face.

"Oh, it was nothing, my dad just wanted me home..that's all" as soon as I say this, I feel stupid and childish. "My dad wanted me home". I sound like a 4th grader telling her friend "sorry I can't sleep over, my dad's worried about me"

I stare into my coffee cup.

"I'd like to meet your father" I snap my head up

"What" I say a little too loudly, so heads turn my way

"I said I would like to meet your father...someday..it doesn't have to be soon, but I want to impress him, to let him know that your safe with me. I'm great with father's"

He quirks his eye brow up, and then he freezes

"Not like your my girlfriend or anything like that, but if you want to be...then that's fine..that's great"

I laugh and say

"We'll talk about it later"

PAGE BREAK

"So, you know Shakespeare?"

"I'm learning it, I don't know it by heart"

"It sounds to me like you know it pretty well, I mean you didn't even know the question and you answered it correctly" he says with a small chuckle

"I caught glimpses of it. I just don't get how we went from Shakespeare to lil Wayne." I say with a disappointed look on my face

"I mean, Shakespeare was incredible. Everything about him, the poems, the plays, the words. He can write such meaningful sentences that could change the way you think of everything. Now, all people write about is sex, and drugs, and money"

He stares at me, with a small smile on his face.

"What?"

"It's adorable. The way you talk"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't really know. You can just be so disgusted by some things, and so passionate about others. Your not afraid to express yourself, I like that,"

"But hey, lil Wayne isn't _that_ bad"

PAGE BREAK

6:45 p.m.

We go through the door of the apartment building, and start to climb up the stairs. He stops me when we're at the second stairwell.

"Just hold on," he says to me lightly, peppering kisses down my neck

"I haven't gotten to do this all day"

He gently leans me against the railing.

I grab his torso, and sigh as he sucks on a sensitive part of my neck. He turns his head to get a better angle on its and start sucking harder, and gently swiping his lounge along my skin.

I grab a fistful of his shirt with each of my hands and pull him closer

"Your going to kill me if you keep doing that" I say, my voice just barely above a whisper. I bite my lip as he starts to slightly nip at my neck.

My breathing gets heavier and a sudden moan escapes my lips.

"Well, your not helping me very much with my self control" he says, his voice slightly muffled.

I bring his lips to mine

I grab his hair and slightly pull.

I'm loving this. And apparently so is he, since he grabs the back of my thigh and runs his hand up and down.

I pull away.

"I don't think the stairs is a very good place to do this" I say with a slight smirk

He nods his head vigorously, and we race up the stairs to my apartment door.

I bust open the door and we both practically run inside, with him grabbing at my waist, starting to lift me up, and me, already pulling his face closer to mine

"Who is this?"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW.**

**Tell me who you think it is or should be in the comments!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

My whole arm shakes as I slowly pour my father and Tobias a glass of water.

Father's orders.

Midway through pouring, Tobias grabs my wrist and says

"It's ok, I got it" with a small smile

I nod my head while father eyes the both of us.

"So Tobias," father starts

"What do you do for a living?"

"I work in business," Tobias says nodding his head

"It's a family thing"

"Business? Well Tobias, that's a hard job, for hard-working people.

You think you have what it takes to get the job done, son?" He says with a small chuckle.

Son?

I stare at the granite countertop that were all standing around, and vision myself taking the glass of water that my father is currently drinking out of, and dumping it on him.

I would love that. My fingers start to curl into a fist.

I imagine myself slamming the cup on the ground, glass shattering everywhere

_Son_

I can't hear anything now. Just muffled voices.

My father.

And Tobias

I watch as father puts a hand on Tobias's shoulder, giving him a manly pat on the back while smiling.

_Think you got what it takes?_

My knuckles turn white, and my fingers start to hurt from pressing them too hard against my palm.

I close my eyes.

I don't want this

I want that stupid smirk off my father's face when he talks to Tobias, like he's proud of him, like he is his _son_

_He doesn't know him_

And Tobias doesn't know my father

It almost drives me mad, knowing that my abuser and my boyfriend are in the same room together, and Tobias doesn't know how much of an Asshole he is.

_He doesn't know_

And I can't take that right now

So I faint instead

PAGE BREAK

"So, what happened" I ask Tobias, who's handing me a glass of water. I take it

"Well, after you passed out, your father brought you to the couch," he pauses

"We both tried to wake you up, but you were out cold. Your father stayed for a couple more hours before he said he had some kind of meeting, and he wouldn't be back till morning, so then I told him I'd watch you while he was gone" he finishes

"Thats it?"

"Thats it."

I pause

"Did he...like...you?..." I ask slowly

He starts to laugh

"Well, I hope so" he says in between laughs.

I shrink down into the couch, and cover my face with the pillow while sighing loudly

Tobias takes the pillow from my face

"Hey, I think it went pretty well,"

"Besides you fainting, of course" he adds

I narrow my eyes at him and begin to roughly mess up his perfectly placed hair. How does he even get it this way? With those slight curls in the front and little ones in the back. In the middle though, it's straight, smooth, silky. I love it.

I love it so much, that I have to stop roughing up his hair to admire it and all its glory. I begin to smooth it back down to how it was before.

"How?" I ask quietly, my voice just barely above a whisper

He tilts his head to the side, his big blue eyes melting me away, piece by piece. Eventually they'll be nothing left.

"How are you so...," I pause

I'm forgetting that I only just met him a week ago, and already I'm mesmerized by him. By everything he does.

"Incredible" I finish.

A small smile slowly begins to form on his face, and he chuckles

"What do you mean?" He scrunches his dark, thick eyebrows together

I look at the ground

"I don't know...it's just... everything you do...it...matters..I mean.." I pause, unable to find my words. I rest my chin on my palm, thinking

"Ok...you know how in school, there was always that one clique of popular people that everyone wanted to be?" Suddenly my voice is back to normal, and I raise my eyebrows at him.

He nods his head

"Well..well that's you..your smooth, and collected, and handsome, and..and.. I don't know,"

"Extravagant"

I sit up.

How is it? How is it that someone can be like him, can be as perfect as him. I'm almost jealous. It confuses me. I sigh, exasperated.

I stare at the ground, a confused look on my face

He sits next to me

"What are you thinking?" He asks quietly

I look up at him, and shake my head

"I'm trying to...figure you out...it's not working very well"

He gets up and kneels in front of me. He sets his hands on my neck, his thumb rubbing over my cheek, and his index finger hooked under my ear.

"Wanna know my secret?"

I nod

"Hair gel"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Sorry for the long wait. I'm in the middle of testing. Hope you liked this chapter. Please leave me a review.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_"Beatrice,"_

_..._

_"Beatrice,"_

_..._

_"WAKE UP"_

_I wake up._

_Except I'm not in my room anymore like I was last night. I'm in a dull concrete covered room. Nothing in it. No chairs, no lights, no doors_

_No nothing_

_The room grows darker, or maybe I'm just hallucinating. A fog of air comes out of my mouth as I breath, but it's not cold. If anything, it's humid. The air feels moist, and the floor feels like it's seeping through my pants. Sweat trickles down the side of my forehead, and onto my cheek._

_I look at my legs._

_I'm wearing the same thing as last night. Everything about me is the same._

_Except for my skin._

_I bring my head closer to my thigh, and see that my flesh is white. Pure white. I can see the purple vains running down my arms and legs. My eyes grow wide._

_The tips of my fingers are a bright red. Like that's the only place blood is flowing. I'm sure it is. All of a sudden I see a bright flash. So bright I have to look away. It only lasts for a couple seconds. _

_I look up to find a mirror. In the corner of the room. No frame around it. Just glass._

_I stand up slowly. As I do this, my legs start to tremble and shake._

_I make my way over to the mirror._

_As soon as I see my reflection, I gasp and take a step back, but I end up tripping on something. Which is weird, since there wasn't anything in the room in the first place. I get up again and slowly look over my face. I was right._

_My body is pale and skinny. Black lines replace the red vains. I look at my eyes, to find them blood shot, and my cheeks are a light purple color. _

_My face is the most disgusting thing about it me. A cream color. Dark vains at the top of my forehead. My lips are almost black, and my hair, a once dull blonde color, is now brown._

_I have a scar running down my right cheek._

_I'm..._

_Disgusting. _

_Suddenly the mirror turns black, and it shatters, making me scream. _

_"What you see," a loud voice booms_

_"Is who-no, what you really are." The voice says_

_"Your disgusting, just as you said. No one will ever love you, beatrice" the voice spits my name out like poison._

_I realize that the voice is familiar. Very familiar._

_"You are nothing , Beatrice. You don't matter. You will never matter. To anyone,_

_Not even me" The voice begins to laugh_

_And I realize that the voice is Tobias's, and he's standing right in front of me, with my father by his side, laughing._

_Tobias reaches out to me. He roughly grabs my hair, and yanks me closer to his face. "You like it when I kiss you huh?" Tobias says, his voice low_

_"How 'd you like it if we did something better?" He licks his lips, and shoves his tongue down my throat, while grabbing at my ass roughly. I scream against his lips, which are no longer the warm, soft, plump lips I came to know and love. Their cold, and unfeeling. "Stop screaming, I'm not done yet," he laughs his evil laugh, then continues to grope my chest. I would push him away, but I'm too weak. I can't even lightly slap at his arms. _

_Suddenly he vanishes, and the room is not a room anymore._

_It is a hallway, constantly stretching. Then the hallways disappears, and I fall into a pit of nothingness. There's black all around me. The only things I hear and see is Tobias and my father laughing at me._

_And then someone joins them._

_Caleb._

_Then mother._

_I scream out to them_

_"Help me, help me!" I beg and plead, my eyes getting wider by the second_

_All they do is scowl, and then begin to join my father and Tobias._

_They begin to throw insults at me_

_"Worthless"_

_"Trash"_

_"Nothing"_

_"Selfish"_

_"Idiotic"_

_There voices mix together, but for some reason, I only hear my mother's disappointing tone, with the other voices muffled in the background._

_"Selfish Beatrice, very selfish"_

_I can't take it anymore._

_I cover my ears with my hands and scream_

**PAGE BREAK**

**5:30 a.m.**

All I hear is the sound of my feet against the track.

I left the apartment an hour ago. After my dream, I couldn't stand to be under the same roof as my father, and I needed to dwell on some things for a bit.

So here I am,

Dwelling away

I'm not sure what the dream meant. I haven't seen Caleb or mother in 2 years.

Why would they come into play with my life right now?

My eyes stay focused on the cement beneath my feet. My shoes slam against the ground, gaining speed by the second. I furrow my brow.

"Dreams typically reflect our emotions," or so my professor says

"Dreams don't really serve a function at all, they're just a pointless byproduct of the brain firing while we slumber."

I wish I could believe that. But I can't, because I know that my dream meant something. I just have to figure out what.

But I can't do that either right now, because I have a handful of dirt in my mouth, and I'm on the ground, clutching at my ankle while rolling side to side.

My ankle feels like it just got smashed with a hammer. I stop rocking and just continue to hold it while tears run down my face.

I slowly lift my hands off of my ankle to see that it's already swollen, and a light red-ish color. I poke slightly at a dark purple spot on the side. I whimper while examining the gash in my leg, starting at my knee, and ending in the middle of my shin.

I rest my head down on the pavement, and breath

I really am a clutz.

When I was younger, I remember falling on the side walk and scraping my knee while riding my bike. I wasn't even bleeding, but I wailed anyways.

I wailed my heart out, until my mother came to me and practically threw my bike to the side. She sit me up straight and brushed her thumb over my knee. After a thorough examination, she lightly kissed the top of my knee cap and asked

"All better?" I would slowly nod my head and snot was ran out of my nose and salty tears streaked my face.

She picked me up, set me on her hip and asked me if I wanted a peanut butter sandwich.

Except now it's different.

There is no caring mother by my side, with a worried look on her face

There is no bike, father took that away from me when I was 11

There is no hand caressing the back of my head, preventing me from feeling the the hard rock beneath me

And there is no mother.

That was taken away from me too.

I slowly start to sit up as straight as I can, so I can get a good look at my ankle. I get up, but put all of my weight on my right leg.

It's only when I put a single pound on my left leg, that I feel the pain. So much of it. Too much of it. Pain shoots up my leg, and stops at my knee. Shearing pain. Stabbing pain.

"Fuck!" I scream as loud as I can, while falling hard to the ground, my back hitting the concrete.

I begin to wail, much like I did when I was younger, except this time it's louder.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit" I scream while squeezing my eyes shut as tight as I can.

PAGE BREAK

I wrap the bandage around my ankle one last time.

I somehow managed to limp to the college bathrooms within 1 hour. I "borrowed" some crutches from the science lab. Why crutches are in there, I don't know. But I'm glad they are. I assume I will not be returning them anytime soon.

I feel a vibrating in my left side.

I pull out my phone and look at the caller ID.

It's Tobias. Tobias's haunting face from my dream flashes in my mind, and I immediately hit cancel. I can't even imagine talking to Tobias right now. Just seeing his face flash across my mind sends chills up my spine.

PAGE BREAK

So far I've tripped 7 people, including myself on these crutches. They would say

"Watch it, kid!" Or give me a death glare, which would cause me to give out a small and shy "sorry".

It's only 7 a.m. and people are already out, buzzing around. New York really is the city that never sleeps. But that's what I love about it.

I love the life here. The people. The everything.

Yesterday I saw a small midget-like woman move so fast, I couldn't even tell what she looked like. She just zoomed right by. She was so concentrated, she didn't see me right in front of her, looking down at the ground like always. So that's why she crashed into me. I fell face first into a small puddle.

But she just kept on going, like nothing ever happened.

I admire her. I wish I could do that. I wish I could not give a shit about accidentally tripping someone, or stepping on someone's foot. I wish I could zone out like her, be so concentrated on getting one thing done, that everything else doesn't even matter. She was in her own little world.

For some reason, my sock feels damp. I look down to find that I'm in the middle of a 2 foot deep puddle

_Fantastic_.

PAGE BREAK

My phone buzzes for the fourth time today. This time I just let it ring. I sit at the island in my kitchen eating last nights left overs, chicken lomain.

I twirl the stringy noodles around my fork, and listen to the weather report.

"It looks like it'll be nothing but cold, cold, and more cold allllll week, Susan," the snarky newsman says

"Well hey, here's the good news. Florida's gonna get major heat waves down there, so maybe they can send us a post card ay?" He says with a wink.

I narrow my eyes at the little man in the screen

"Well hey, why don't you stick that postcard up your ass, Bill?" I say in my best impression of him.

The buzz of my phone brings me out of my daze, and I jump in my seat.

I stare at it as it continues to buzz

"I won't do it," I tell myself aloud

"I can't see him right now"

PAGE BREAK

7:45 p.m.

I carry the groceries in one hand, and my crutch in the other. As soon as father came home, he told me to go get some protein shakes for him. And a weight loss pill, which is probably terrible for him, and other various medications that have something to do with "a great body".

I assume he just wants to get lucky at the bar he goes to to get women. Lately he hasn't been bringing anyone home in the middle of the night. I can tell because there's no oversized bra hanging from the lamp shade, or condom wrappers in the fridge. Yes, the fridge.

Once I found one laying on top of the milk carton. I didn't eat for 3 days straight.

"Beatrice?" I hear

I look up to find Tobias staring down at me, and all of a sudden I see black pits instead of his normally dreamy dark blue eyes.

I swallow hard.

"Tobias," I say, my voice sounding scratchy.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"I live here Beatrice, remember?" He points to a tall apartment building and my mouth shapes in the form of an O.

"I was just about to go meet some friends. Are you alright? What happened to your leg? Why haven't you been returning my calls?"

At first I'm speechless. Here we are, on the dark side of the street, no cars are zooming by, no people chit-chattering around us. It's just me and him. I'm too scared to talk.

I see his shadow from a building light not too far away. I could run. I could run the opposite direction right now, screaming my head off. I imagine myself running for my life down the street, crying "help, help!"

"Tris?" He asks, and puts his hand on my shoulder. Chills spiral up my arms. I take a step back

"I'm busy." Is all I say

He furrows his brows, his face looking more tense.

"Busy," He says

"Tell me the truth, Tris" he sets both of his hands on my shoulders, making me feel weak and small.

I push his arms away "that is the truth," I say, my voice stern. I'm surprised by how clear and fierce it sounded. Usually when I'm scared my voice is high-pitched and shaky. But it's not now, for some reason. I like it.

"I just...I'm busy..ok?" He narrows his eyes at me, about to say something

But I don't let him.

I stride away as fast as my little legs can carry me.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Please leave me a review, tell me what you think should happen next!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I'm afraid of when it will come.

All the pain, suffering, heartbreak, and anger will come. Not in little bursts like when I fainted that day Tobias met father, but all at once.

I fear that one day, all of these emotions will just fill up inside of me, and never stop. And then I'll just collapse, like an old building being teared down

Because it's a waste of space.

I'm a waste of space. At least, that's what my father tells me.

I'll be gone, and all of this will be over. Sometimes, I almost want my life to end. I want to get away from all of the stress, the pain, the anxiety. It is too much to take for a 17 year old girl.

I've had suicidal thoughts. But I could never go through with it. That's cowardly. I hate the idea of killing myself, because I was too much of a weakling to handle what the world was throwing at me.

Because to me, that would mean giving up. Giving up on life, on possibilities, on the future.

I've always dreamed that someone would save me. Like the stories my mother used to tell me at bedtime when I was a little girl. I would be the princess, my father is the Dragon that keeps me from the world, and the Prince, has yet to come. I fear he will never come, that I will forever be locked up in my tower of hope.

In my tower of false hope.

PAGE BREAK

1:30 p.m.

"You wanted to talk to me sir?" I ask

In the middle of history class, my teacher Mr. Anderson, asked me to stay after class. For what I reason, I have know idea.

He watches as the last student leaves the classroom, then shuts the door, making my palms even more damp.

"Beatrice," he starts

"May I call you bea?" He asks with a smile

My eyebrows furrow. What is this?

"No." I state. I'm surprised by the stern and steady sound of my voice. It must surprise him to, since his eyebrows jump in surprise.

He starts to chuckle.

"Hey now, don't get rough with me, I just asked you a simple question" he touches my waist lightly with his fingertips, trying to pull me closer. But I back away.

"What did you want?" I say, my voice louder than I expected

"To have sex with one of your students? Is that it? Mr. Anderson, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not that kind of girl" with that I stomp on his toes, grab my books from the desk, and storm out the door, not forgetting to knock his "#1 teacher" mug to the ground.

"Idiot" I mutter

PAGE BREAK

"Ooohhh! Grab that one! Look at all the sparkles!" Miss Jackson squeals.

I roll my eyes, while trying to hold the ten other dresses in my arms

"I think you have enough dresses already" I say panting

Her face gets serious. The corner of her lips are turned, her brows are furrowed, and her eyes are hard and cold. I'm almost scared.

"You can never have enough dresses" she says in a low voice

"Uh...oh...ok..fine, fine" I say, my voice filled with fear. I seem to have a lot of that these days.

Her face brightens

"Great! Come, come Beatrice, I have to try them all on."

I grunt in response.

PAGE BREAK

"That will be...670$" the mall employee says

"670$? Are you sure? I thought it was more than that" Miss Jackson answers

Unbelievable

The girl eyes her for a second, a baffled look on her face. She glances at the screen before saying

"No...it's 670$ alright..."

Out of the corner of my eye I see a familiar figure. A very broad figure, standing next to a smaller figure.

It's Tobias, and he's standing next to a girl. No actually, he's talking to the girl. Fire burns behind my eyes at the sight, and my stomach twists. I roll my fingers into my palms, making a tight fist, and grit my teeth.

I don't know why I'm feeling the way I am. The last time I saw him, I was so completely and utterly scared, I couldn't have a conversation with him without trembling.

I still don't want to talk now. No, no, no. Now, I want to punch him in the face. Kick him in the shin, pull at his hair, I don't care. But at the same time, I want to cry my eyes out. I want to roll myself up in a blanket, and lock myself in my room, so I can just lay there and cry, and cry, and cry.

"Beatrice!" Miss Jackson nearly yells

I jump, and look at her

"What?"

"Lets go"

She starts to walk.

She starts to walk toward Tobias and the girl. I freeze. She turns around and says

"Are you coming or not?"

I shake my head violently. She stomps her foot and sighs loudly, like a child would when she didn't get a toy that she wanted.

She reaches over and yanks at my arm, forcing me to follow behind her. Towards him.

When we're no more than 5 feet away from him and the girl, and his group of friends, which I didn't see before, I use all my strength to free myself from Miss Jackson's grasp

"Stop!" I yell

I look at her, her eyes are wide, her mouth is turned down, and she's staring at me, in fact everyone in the store is staring at me. Including Tobias and his group.

Suddenly I feel nauseous, like something is swimming around in my stomach, making a whirlpool, and the only way to get rid of that whirlpool,

Is to throw it up

All of it.

I crouch down, and lean to the side. I vomit all over the grey carpet, while holding my stomach. I hear "ooohhh"s and "eeeehhhh"s, most likely from the poor customers who are watching

"Come on," a deep voice says

"Your gonna be ok"

All of a sudden my mouth is being wiped with a chipotle napkin, and I am being lifted off the ground, and into the arms of the man that caused this all.

"Tobias," I mumble, while covering my face. I can't imagine how red my cheeks must be right now

"It's ok," he says

"I'm here"

PAGE BREAK

I awaken to the sound of a voice. Tobias's voice, actually.

I rub my hand over my face, while moaning. My stomach still feels like it's in the middle of a world war, and I have a massive headache.

"Sorry, I gotta go bye."

I feel something warm lightly rub against my forehead

"Your still a little warm. Here," the masculine voice says

"Put this on it" he gently places a cool cloth on my head, and I sigh with relief.

He chuckles.

"You know, the only reason you've been at my place was because of you vomiting away," he says jokingly

"You know, if you wanted to come over that bad, you could just call"

"That's funny," I say

"Your hilarious, truly hilarious" I say with no hint of humor on my face

His face gets serious, but his voice gets softer

"What happened Beatrice?"

"I think you know Damn well what happened, I puked in front of everyone, haven't you been paying attention?" I say exasperated

"I'm not talking about the mall" he says quietly, while tilting his head to the side slightly

"...I don't know...alright?"

"You don't know?" He asks

"Things were going great, Beatrice. When I saw you that night, you acted...almost...almost...scared."

I breath out a loud breath, and sit up slowly

"I...I can't tell you why I acted that way."

"Why not?" He asks sternly

"I deserve an explanation"

"What were you doing with that girl, huh?" I ask, accusation in my voice

"I deserve an explanation for her too"

He looks confused for a moment

"Nicole?" He asks bewildered

I shrug

He throws his head back and sighs

"Were just friends, Beatrice, nothing more. And I am allowed to talk to other girls"

I slump my shoulders

" I just didn't think you'd be talking to them that fast" I say quietly

He scoots over to where I am, and wraps his hand around my chin

" I'm sorry," he says softly

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, I would never want to do that"

"I know...I just..I've never had a boyfriend before...I've never felt...felt.."

"Jealousy" he finishes for me

I snap my head towards him

" I was not jealous"

He chuckles while saying

"It's ok, I happened to think your pretty cute when your jealous" he kisses me softly on the lips, and the crashing waves in my stomach, suddenly grow larger, but a good larger. If that even makes sense.

It's the kind of feeling you get before you go on a rollercoaster. Scared, yet excited and anxious of what is to come.

He fits his hand at the back of my head, and kisses me harder

Are kisses are lazy, yet still firm. He knows what he's doing. He slides his other hand up and down my thighs, and bites slightly at my bottom lip. He moves downward, toward my neck.

He runs light kiss from my jaw, to a certain soft spot right above my collar bone, which causes me to catch my breath.

He continues to bite and suck at that one spot, which is so pleasurable, I have to hold on tightly to his shoulders so I don't lose my self control.

"Holy shit," I say quietly while tilting my head back and laughing

"You like this?" He asks,

I nod, and swallow hard while he continues his work

I dig my finger farther into his shirt, tighten my grasp as he licks and nips continuously.

I cave into him, as he moves his hips against mine.

He moves back up to my lips

"Besides," he mumbles against my mouth

"I wouldn't want to miss out on this"

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but here's the next chapter! Tell me what you think in the comments.**


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